I finally met Carlos Baerga!!

On August 25th, 2013 I FINALLY met CARLOS BAERGA, former player of the Cleveland Indians… annnnnd I almost cried.

Since I was a weeee little girl Carlos has always been my favorite and on many occasions I tried to meet him but it never happened. I remember one day in particular, after the game I went down to the gates where all the players parked. I waited for him to come out, he did…in his shiny shoes and got into a fancy vehicle and drove out of my life.

Recently I heard that Key Bank was doing some kind of promotion where you sign up for a checking account and you get to meet Carlos and Omar Vizquel. Well.. there was a deadline (which I missed) and as of now I am working on still getting all up in that BUT lets take a step back.

Pat had his company picnic at Progressive Field like they do every year, free food and fountain drinks. We got inside but had to wait to be let into the picnic area, as we waited I asked a supervisor standing near by an important question.

“How the hell do I get to meet Carlos and Omar on September 21st?” Ok, I didn’t say it like that but you get the idea. He informed me that if I went to guest services he was sure they could help me out, I was stoked. Shortly after that I said something similar to the ticket taker who informed me that Carlos was present at THIS game… I about shit. She gave me all the pertinent information and that’s when my mission began.

The shakes had taken over my body as I piled food onto my plate and quickly devoured it, I only had a small window of opportunity and I wasn’t going to waste it.

Ricky, my stepson was the only one willing to go on this journey with me and I informed him he made it to silver stepson status, he seemed happy and also embarrassed at the same time.

The walk literally took 10 minutes as we went from one end allllllll the way to the other end. I believe he was in the terrace section, floor 4. We arrived to the top and a young gentleman helped us out by giving us tickets to get into the lower level area, he was very kind.

We rode the elevator back down and entered the room where I walked right up to the desk and asked about Carlos.

“Is this where Carlos will be?”

“Yes but he wont be here until 1:30-2:00” She said in a nasty tone which made me want to kill her.

“Ok, that’s fine. So I can wait right here then?”

“You can’t wait RIGHT here, you will be in the way of people coming in.”

“I wasn’t going to literally stand here…..”

“He will be at that table over there.”

‘Then I will wait over there..”


…Are you bored yet, this story is really taking a long time to tell…or maybe it’s me taking a long time to write it.

Anyways, there was a small table set up for him to sign autographs and take pictures. During this time I was a nervous wreck and couldn’t stop pacing around, I’m sure I made everyone else around me nervous too.

Marquis Grissom came in, he was also a former Indians player and I think ended up throwing out the first pitch that game. I stood there, didn’t want to overstep my boundaries when he asked how we were doing and if we wanted an autograph. Well, sure we do. I happened to tape a small bit of that interaction before he signed a glossy picture of himself and then took a picture with us.  Check out my nipples below.


Very nice guy!!


Now we wait for CARLOS!

I turned to Ricky and politely said to him.. “I don’t want to come off as a dick but I just want it to be Carlos and I in the picture” This is why I would make a horrible mother but he didn’t care one way or another.

By this time I was getting more anxious and sweaty as the clock was ticking down and at one point our friend from upstairs came to check on us. Super nice kid, said that it’s free to sit upstairs at the bar..  I think he was lonely and wanted some company.

FINALLY Carlos came in, cocky as shit..it was awesome.

The good thing is that there was not a lot of people, so it was pretty chill and laid back. I got in line, he turned to me and I started stuttering like a little girl. I almost cried, I couldn’t talk.. it was very unattractive. I got my picture, stole a hug and walked my sex legs out the door but not before I managed to tell him how I was a huge fan since I was tiny..not sure if it came out like that, don’t actually remember what I said to be honest.


Look how cool he is..with his thumbs up and I’m all like derr.


Below is a video, three separate clips put together by Windows Live Movie Maker.. which I am still not sure how to use. Listen closely as I breath like a fat woman walking up the stairs, my slurs are pretty sweet too so try not to miss that, oh and take notice of the lame things I say.



Things I regret on this adventure. 1) I kept the sun glasses on, I look like a gay fly. I even went to the bathroom and did a with/without look, I felt my face was better to hide behind the frames but now I look back and I wish I had taken them off. I was INSIDE, what was I thinking? 2) I should of had him sign it “To Lauren” there was time, I am sure he would have done it.  3) I didn’t ask him to give a shout out to the blog, which never crossed my mind until my mom asked if I did.

It’s to late, I can’t dwell on the past BUT what I can do is get myself another chance to meet him again and this time do it right.


Thank you again!!

Please share this blog with friends and family!! OR ELSE. .. Just kidding.

Stalk ya later!

An En Vogue failed attempt turns up Cleveland Hero.

The plan was to get En Vogue before their performance at 8:30, little did we know that they would roll up in a taxi at 8:20 and disappear. Here is our story.

I worked till 3:30 and raced down the freeway to get Shari, got her ass and made it to House Of Blues a little after 4:00pm. We scouted the area which turned up nothing out of the ordinary, this usually makes it harder for us to devise a plan. Many cars were coming and going which also made it hard for us to pick out the drop off vehicle but we continued to watch. During this time I decided to tape Shari giving a brief explanation of what we were looking for, when we were rudely interrupted. Watch below.




We had about three interruptions similar to that during the 4 and a half hours we were there waiting. We also ran into a little girl and her drunk Aunt and Grandma, she had a sign and wanted to meet the one member of the group. Which we found out was no long a part of the group, they later disappeared into the building to see the show. During this time we met a big En Vogue fan who filled us in on some stuff and waited with us till the end, we became Facebook friends and found out he is one of us. While all this was going on a car drove up and two dark skindid men got out with two black women we assumed to be part of the band, we ended up being wrong. We watched as the one man walked back and fourth on the street, he was looking for a car. We figured him to be a manager or part of the band somehow, so our new friend went up to him and asked him a question. This man ended up being Cleveland’s Hero, Charles Ramsey! Once we found out who he was we JUST had to get some pictures with him.

Charles RamseyShari

Charles was super cool and funny, he talked with us for a bit before he left. We found out that supposedly En Vogue had invited him to come down for dinner and gave him V.I.P access to the show. He was pacing the street looking for the group who appeared to have stood him up. He left, came back out later and found us still chillin’, he said he was going to make us his entourage and then bring En Vogue out himself for us. That was the last time we saw Mr.Ramsey, he meant well. (I have more videos that I might post later)

It was getting darker and by that I mean the night sky was slowly losing light and we were running out of time before the show started, either En Vogue slipped by us or they were running late. Turns out while the three of us were to busy on our phones a taxi drove past us and up to the entrance, I had a feeling but no one was listening to me. I looked up, taxi was gone and in it’s place were three African American women standing there. Still no one was listening to me, I finally got our friends attention and he confirmed it was them. We took off in a light stroll, not to scare anyone away but we were a good distance back so we had to hurry. I got some video of us attempting to get their attention, one of the girls waved but it’s not on tape. My lame butt was not prepared and therefore have horrible video of it, of course I was taping everything else all night long (hookers, homeless, Browns fans, mothers dragging kids behind them..) but the one time it counted I was snoozing. Anyways, Check out the video below.

So ladies and gentleman, this is our FAILED attempt at meeting the band En Vogue. We need to brush up on our tactics and be a smidgen more aggressive..without ending up in jail. Normally we wait till after the show but we are working girls and need to get to bed at a reasonable time.

On the positive side we DID get a glimpse of them and met Charles Ramsey in the mix.


Thank you for checking us out and please STALK again.

Stipe Miocic

Thanks to the Happy Moose Bar and Grill in Mentor on Thursday evening I got to meet Stipe Miocic, a MMA fighter from Independence, Ohio.

I saw the Facebook feed about the meet and greet and right away contacted Shari but this time around she was out car shopping and couldn’t make it, Pat filled in nicely.

Of course I don’t watch UFC or MMA and had no idea who this Miocic guy was but I Googled his name, he was legit and therefor was my next victim.

Pat and I went up there around 5 to get some eat’s, knowing the meet and greet was from 6-8.

It was getting closer to 6 and he walked his tall ass past us and into the back where the outside patio was. I started to get nervous because we were still inside and had just got our dinner, I didn’t want to miss out on something or be stuck at the back of the line. See, I get like this.. all flustered and anxiety sets in right away but Pat told me to calm down.. I was being to dramatic.  I ate faster than usual, my eyes constantly looking ahead of me at the door to the back. I finally got up and asked the hostess if I needed to be back there, I didn’t want to miss the fun but I also didn’t want to be early and bugging him while he ate. The hostess didn’t know but she was going to find out for me, by now it might have hit 6.  I waited..and waited but no one came back to give me the green light.

Pat had noticed a guy with some autographed pictures and told me to just go back there, so I did. However I was still nervous because he was sitting at a table facing out with some peeps and I didn’t want to be..THAT guy. Once again I asked someone, this time one of the bartenders. She was not 100% sure but thought it was just casual, no lines or body guards, just walk up to him and go from there. Good thing though because I had a surprise birthday party I had to be at by 7:30, things were going smoothly.

Still not fully comfortable I ran back in to get Pat, who came back out with me to take the picture.

I walked up to the table like a creeper with my boy haircut as everyone around starred at me. I got to the table and smiled, Stipe grabbed a picture and a marker and looked at me.

Finally I spoke up “Lauren” (He wanted to know what name to sign) he asked the correct spelling of my name and how I was doing, he commented on the weather and was super nice.

I asked for a picture and he agreed, made some funny comment about him taking the picture for me..we shared a moment. He was tall and sweaty but I was cool with it. He thanked me, I thanked him and then we went our separate ways.

Thank you again for stalking by!



Karmin’s Amy and Nick

I’m a little embarrassed to admit this but I really had no idea who Karmin was until today and let me tell you, fan for life.

Of course I know the song Brokenhearted…but that’s about it AND now my favorite song is ACAPELLA.

Shari won tickets from 96.5 Kiss FM and I ended up going as her guest.

This is how it started.

Shari Pollack – First thing, I need someone to take my 10-4 shift at Regal tomorrow because I just won tickets to meet Karmin from 96.5 KISS FM. 2nd, who wants to go with me??
Lauren Dodge …hi. what time? LoL
Shari Pollack 11:30
Shari Pollack Nobody will work for me…but I’m not passing this up!
Lauren Dodge What time you going up?
Lauren Dodge I might be able to do half day, which is 10:30.
Shari Pollack I have to be there between 11:30-11:45 :_)
Shari Pollack that would be perfect actually.
Shari Pollack I’m sure I’d be able to be back at Regal by like 1:30
Lauren Dodge Ahhhhh. Fuck it. Count me in.

The rest is us pretty much trying to find her a way out of work, she ended up switching her shift and working 4-12am. :-/

10:30 came around and I bounced out of work and hit the road, I was in Independence within 35 minutes. We walked into the Clear Channel building, I changed my clothes and then we hit the elevator and made our way upstairs, signed in and got cool little name badges. We were just chilling on the couch when the elevators opened up and out stepped the band Karmin, we just stared like.. Is that them.. They turned to look at us, we waved, they waved and then they had disappeared through the studio doors. Once again I failed at having my camera ready and didn’t get any of that on file, that’s ok though..the best is to come.

Finally we were brought back into a tiny room with a dirty desk and a phone where we waited for another 15-20 minutes at least. During this time we listened to their sound check and had entertained ourselves until it was showtime.

FINALLY..for realz this time we were moved into the studio and within 30 seconds Karmin had come in, here is the video.

Then they stopped and asked if anyone had any questions. I was waiting for Shari to ask her series of serious questions but she never did and I got nervous and spoke up. I told them it was a 2-part question, I informed them about GoneStalking.com and asked if they would give a shout out and then I asked how they felt about people like Shari and myself being all up in their personal space. Of course..fail #2 none of this was recorded until the very end, take a look.

It was a pretty lame video but as you can see they agreed to meet with us afterwards, they also commented on the “Stalking” part of the question but I can’t remember what they said.. I had dry mouth & might have urinated with excitement at that moment.

Up next was Karmin performing their new single Acapella, I didn’t catch the super beginning & stopped before the end, also it’s a tad blurry at first but I finally realized it and fixed it. ENJOY!

They played 2 songs and then in a single file line we followed them out into the.. lobby area I guess you would call it and waited while they took pictures with everyone.

Shari went first, she got her picture taken and was handed the pre-signed glossy photo of the band AND THEN she asked to rap Super Bass with Amy.. Check it out below.

Super Bass =  Super Sweet!

She said she was going to do it.. and she did.

I then went next to get my picture, one with my phone and one for the radio station website.

Me and Karmin


Just when you thought it was over, take a peek below to see my stalking skills in action.

During all of this they were trying to scoot Shari and myself out but I reminded them that Karmin promised us a shout out and thus they let us stay. We approached Amy and Nick who was more then happy to oblige, video below to see what happened next.

As you can see the band Karmin was super cool, funny, generous, patient, and sexy. I am so glad I tagged a long with Shari and met these fine folks, I recommend them and their music to everyone.

Coming down from our high and going down in the elevator we ran into the gentleman who played the guitar during their studio performance and another man somehow affiliated with Karmin. All 4 of us squeezed into the elevator and of course I had to record as they tried to keep all the equipment from getting smashed between the doors and document the experience as it was unfolding.


I have more pictures but I will only bore you with two!

randoms 145

randoms 157


That should be it for now, please stay tuned for more real soon!

Thank you again for stalking by.




Marco Cassone

This post might not be as exciting as some of my past encounters but I feel this deserves a spot on my blog!

This group is recognized World Wide, so that must mean something.

( I apologize in advance, this was over 10 years ago so I don’t have much exciting information about that night. I lose memory like water down a drain.)

On April 12, 2002 my choir teacher, Mr.Carney took our Northern Lights group to see a vocal group called M-Pact  perform at the Ohio Jazz Summit in Tiffin, Ohio.

M-Pact is a professional  a cappella group based out of California, their voices are their instruments.

It was a great show, a very talented bunch of young men. One in particular I had my eye on, Marco Cassone, I swear he sang to me the whole time.

When the show was over I rushed the stage and got me a picture with him, I then had the rest of the members sign my program. 🙂

Me and Marco

It’s actually quite creepy how alike we look, right down to the giant eyebrows and shiny hair.


Jillian Michaels, I like squats.

Jillian Michaels was the second celebrity experience and first successful encounter that my friend Shari and I did together, Chris Mann was the first but his show was cancelled due to scheduling conflicts.

When I found out Jillian Michaels was coming to the Playhouse Square I got super excited and prepared my hunting kit.

I love and watch The Biggest Loser and of course am big fan of hers, why wouldn’t I want to add another notch on my bedpost in her honor. The calendar was marked and the countdown began, I was super excited. It had been a long while since my run in with Robin Williams and I was jonesing for more.

The day had arrived, I got my phone and camera ready, grabbed some permanent markers and headed out the door. My hair was looking good, my adrenaline was pumping, and the smell of stalking was in the air.

On my way down I decided to record a small introduction, see I had decided we should record our outings, post them and eventually become famous.. this was the first video.

I don’t quit remember times but I think I rolled up to Shari’s around 8ish hoping to arrive in Cleveland before 9, we figured her show would not pass 2 hours. Jillian was on tour, Maximize you life in which she was speaking to people across the country and educating them on weight loss and healthy living. Another show we passed on, however it was probably very educational but we decided to lurk in some bushes next to her tour bus instead.

We arrived, parked and found our spot next to a giant tour bus, it had to be hers. There was a woman outside the door playing with a small black child, we walked around the bus and searched for other possible exit strategies.  Within a few minutes I realized that the woman and child were probably Jillian’s partner and daughter, a quick Google search helped confirm that. By this time they had disappeared back inside but our suspicions were right abut the bus and we knew she had to get in that to leave.

We tried getting closer to the door but our favorite one armed security friend made us back up to the sidewalk, he also informed us Jillian would not be coming out these doors and that she would not be signing.

Below is a video I took of him and his security bff talking strategy or kiddie porn or mashed potato receipts..

Just some obstacles we ended up brushing aside anyways.

And so the night went on, the longer we waited the more people started to show up and cramp our style. Which was also a good indication that we were in the right spot.

Some ebayers showed up, 3 dudes with armful’s of pictures for JM to sign and then later sell them on ebay. They were totally cool, tossing around a football and playing catch across a busy Cleveland street as cars were passing.  We just took pictures and made fun of them the remainder of the night.

It was starting to get late and we both had work tomorrow, figuring she was done talking and had hopefully moved on to the question and answer portion of the evening we decided to set a time when to leave. It was about 11:30pm and we were getting ready to bounce when there was movement up ahead. The swarm of people, which suddenly got bigger within the last 30 seconds started to file towards her.

She came out with a bird in a cage…don’t ask me and informed us she was going to put it in the bus and be right back.

She came out, marker ready and began her decent down the line of people. At this point I realized I didn’t really prepare much and had nothing for her to sign, thanks to Shari I got a page from her autograph book. During the commotion I turned on the camera and started filming the whole experience, it’s about 6 minutes long because the “ebayers” were being dramatic and taking up life with their shit. Below is the video, it’s a bit shaky because I didn’t want to appear like I was filming and draw unnecessary attention to myself. Sometimes heads are cut off and at one point when I was getting my picture and autograph it went black since I was the one holding the camera. You can hear me, I get a little giddy around stars and tend to ramble and screech so be prepared to be annoyed. Also keep an eye out for our friend Captain Hook trying to act tough, oh and by the way.. She came out this door and signed. Booya!

During my moment, I asked her to sign my paper… “Keep up those squats” and then I proceeded to tell her how I was in a 30 day squat challenge… which I completed by the way. In all the excitement Jillian handed me her marker and I started to walk away with it but we established this right away and all was calm with the world once again. My turn was up and I headed to the end where I continued to film the last bit of people, at one point she brings up the “ebayers” and how it was weird they had a lot of stuff but that they had her make it out to specific names so she signed just in case. Listen closely you can hear that conversation. Not long after that the.. “Ebayers” came back and wanted a picture, the security guy was like scram you already got 12 things signed..they felt salty and left.

Jillian was SUPER-DE-DOOPER cool, she talked, laughed, signed, and took pictures. I give her an A++ infinity. It was late and I am sure she was tired beyond belief but she was all about her fans and I give her credit.

Jillian Michaels

There we are, hanging out like best buds.

Just a few things to point out. 1) My hoodie string is very long and uneven, it drives me crazy every time I look at this picture… you’re welcome. 2) My hair had fro-ed up something wicked but Jillian’s’ sexy doo covered it. 3) Jillian is gorgeous up close, a real beauty.. and 4) My friend asked me if she was big and muscular, I didn’t get to see her without clothes on or try to pick her up but she looked pretty normal sized to me.

Thank you!


Two for One: Tracy Morgan and Ardie Fuqua

My friend Shari (Cheryl, from Cheryl’s Block ) and I both were on a mission to meet Tracy Morgan. We were successful.

We did not see the show, the plan was to get there about 9pm and wait for him to stumble out the stage door. We were not 100% sure which exit he would pop out of so we walked the building a few times but ended up back in our original spot. There was a lot of unnecessary parked cars that night do to a party that was held in a building right next door, this made it hard for us to plan Tracy’s possibly getaway car and escape rout.

We ran into some people that went to the show so we knew he would be out soon but I read somewhere that he was also doing a meet and greet and we figured it was afterwards since he had yet to show.

Meanwhile an older lady joined us in our Tracy Morgan pursuit, adding to the total of 3 white women waiting in a dark ally.

An employee of The Play House Square handed each one of us random flowers and assured us Tracy was still upstairs.

I checked my Twitter feed and saw that Ardie was posting some pictures, I contacted him and he informed us they were on their way down.

Ardie Faqua was Tracy’s opening act and has been on tour with him.

Within 30 seconds Tracy, Ardie, and his crew of security came strolling out of the dark. Tracy was singing the same few words over, and over, and over again to some song I never heard of before all while hanging on the shoulder of one of the security guards. I started waving my hands in the air and doing my best black person sway back and fourth, trying to fit in and look cool. It worked and they all started to wave their hands with me. I wish I had this recorded but unfortunately I didn’t have enough money to pay someone to follow me around and get the good stuff. Plus I didn’t want to get held up filming in case he took off running,  I needed to get my autograph and picture with Tracy and so I stayed focused all while remaining thug.

Tracy was super sweet, he autographed two (2) of my Billboard Music Award books (Which I had received earlier that month when I attended the awards in Vegas, he was the host) and took a picture with me.

Don’t let the shirt fool you, he didn’t smell anything like a big mac but he was sweaty as a pair of balls.

Tracy Morgan

Tracy had moved on to an older lady that wanted another picture of him and I motioned for Ardie to get his ass over and take a picture with me too, he grabbed the camera and took it himself.


We were almost done when my friend Shari asked Tracy to give a shout out to her Facebook page, Cherly’s Block and without hesitation he did.

We had a great night, Tracy and Ardie were super nice, patient, and totally cool.

As they were walking away I was able to shoot some footage, I got Tracy singing again and walking to his car.


The End!



Robert Herjavec – What’s a Shark Tank?

May of  this year my husband Patrick Dodge and myself went on a vacation to Vegas, we purchased tickets to the Billboard Music Awards. Here is my story.

We LOVE Vegas and try to get there once a year but it was about 3 years since the last time we went, which was when we got married back in August 2009. When I heard the Music Awards were in town during our stay I went into action and devised a plan to meet as many celebrities as I possible could. I failed miserably. We ended up getting tickets to the show instead which was worth it but it kept me away from doing any real before or after stalking.

The show ended and we found ourselves stuck in a major human traffic jam, I had to get outside but there was no way. Finally we slipped through a side exit door that led us right down to the parking garage where all the celebrities had previously arrived for the red carpet. There were some stranglers and very little security at the door, all the major stars had hightailed it out of there and I was left in defeat. I stood there watching, waiting to see if anyone would pop out but no luck. Not until some lady pointed out a flashy, good looking dude in a leather coat. Being the celebrity whore that I am I proceeded to bud into her conversation and find out who this man was. She seemed annoyed with me and my black stare but proceeded to answer my questions anyways. She couldn’t remember his name but said he was on Shark Tank and that he is very wealthy. I had no idea what the hell Shark Tank was but I was not going to let this man leave without getting a picture with me. I watched him walk back and fourth for awhile, most of the time on his phone and looking around. He would stop and talk to a pretty lady or a nice looking black man ( Which I think turned out to be Daymond John, also from Shark Tank but by the time I thought him to be someone he was gone..DAMN) and then head back inside, he did this a few times. During all this some homeless man wanted to buy my program from me for like $3.00, I told him to scram or give me $50… Continuing on. Pat had somehow slipped by and was now on the other side of the wall, smiling and waving at me. I thought what I little shit, so I did the same. I took a deep breath, approached the man and asked to get a picture with him. He agreed very nicely, but then moved to quick before the camera was finished flashing 12 times and the picture came out blurry. We ended up taking 2 more until a limo driver came over and took it for us.

Before I made any dramatic Facebook posts I Googled Shark Tank and made sure this man was a somebody, the photos matched up… I was good to go.

Robert Herjavec was the mysterious man in the leather coat that took 3 pictures with me, he was super nice. I would have pushed me down after the first failed attempt but he didn’t.


Take 1                                                     Take 2

Phone pictures 2013 1906 Phone pictures 2013 1907  SharkTankTake 3



Even though I didn’t get to meet a giant flock of stars like I wanted to, the night wasn’t a total bust after all.


SMILE BITCH! An encounter with Toby Ketih

I have the worst memory and since this was over 10 years ago I only remember the important details.

My Mom got on this country music kick and decided one day to take us kids to the Dollar Bank Jamboree back in 2001. There was music, food, and I’m sure a whole lot of other fun and exciting things.

Fast forward to the end of the night, Toby Keith and his band were signing autographs, no pictures allowed… Yeah right.

We waited patiently for our turn, slowly moving down the line of yellow caution tape separating us from them. I don’t know if they thought that was going to stop me and of course it didn’t. It was almost my turn, I told my friend when I say “GO” take the picture, and I figured I only had a small window of opportunity before I was tackled to the ground by some hired homeless security guards.

Suddenly there was a chill in the air as a dark shadow covered my body, glancing down at me and blocking the moon was Toby Keith himself. It was time to make my move, I handed him my program and jumped the tape. I stood next to him and forcefully told him to smile, he did.


TobyToby 1

The rest of the band signed and I got pictures with I think the drummer and …. Some other guy.


Toby2 toby3

Everyone was very nice, they took the time to sign and take pictures.

From what I remember we had fun and I was able to put another notch in my belt.

Your locks / My face – Getting personal with Whoopi Goldberg

“Oh Whoopi Goldberg, you weren’t getting past me without a picture.”  I said to myself, revealing a devilish grin.

It was about 7:30pm on the night of June 29th, 2001. My Mom had dropped me off at the entrance of Playhouse Square in Cleveland, I quickly made my way inside and headed to the Ohio Theater.

Oddly enough my parents let me go alone, my first comedy show and in downtown Cleveland. Nevertheless I was excited and couldn’t wait to see where my seats were, so I proceeded to the nearest old lady usher.

“Oh wow” She said “Follow me” and.. did… I… ever. I walked behind her all the way down to the front row and off to the left, for $65.00 I made it to Row A seat 1, Thanks Dad!

Whoopi came out shortly after and made an announcement, sitting in the front row middle was Muhammad Ali. He went right up to the stage and they shared a hug, it was a nice surprise.


Now back to Whoopi.

From what I could remember her show was great, half her jokes went over my head. I think I just laughed out of nervousness and tried to blend in, I mean I WAS a sheltered 17 year old with a boy haircut and the complexion of Powder. :-/

When the show ended I creeped around back and found her tour bus along with a nice handful of eager wannabes.

She pretty much told everyone to chill and quickly made her way through the crowd, I had a decision to make.

Do I get an autograph or do I go for the more personal touch and get a BFF photo together.

I figured a photograph would be awesome as balls but her bodyguards were being dicks so I snuck around to the door of her bus. I figured she would have to get through my dead body first if she wanted to leave.

Whoopi approached me and at that moment I stepped in front of the door and asked for a picture. She seemed annoyed, but figured she didn’t want to upset her only white fan and agreed.

However, do you remember me saying how her bodyguards were being dicks? Yeah. No one would take the picture of us, so like a gem Whoppi took the camera out of my hand, shoved our heads together and took the picture herself.

I thanked her and she was gone.

I was in heaven and if you don’t know what heaven is then you’ve never had Whoopi Goldberg’s dreadlocks cascade down your face.

We shared a moment I will never forget.