Chelsea Handler

So today’s entry will be about my Mothers somewhat encounter with the funny Chelsea Handler on March 6th, 2014.

About 2  years ago for my mom’s birthday my sister and I got her tickets to see Miss. Handler at the Quicken Loans Area. We had a good time, I was glad we went. I found out she was coming back again and thus we decided to get Mom tickets and make a night out of it once more. However my sister couldn’t get off of work and so Mom and I went without her but of course she was greatly missed.   😉

So the week of the show Mom found out that Chelsea was having a book signing at The Blue Rock Cafe in Hudson, Ohio and she planned on going. It was from 2-4 which was a good hour away from where I worked so I was unable to go, there was NO way I would make it in time. I figured I could try to scoop her up before the show and make up for not meeting her earlier in the day.

I had done some research and found out you had to almost pre-order her new book “Uganda Be Kidding Me” to secure yourself an official spot and actually be able to get the book signed by her. I had given Mom all the proper information and she made the call, paid $27.00 over the phone and was locked in.

Mom drove down there, she actually made a video of herself talking and explaining to our audience where she was going and what she was about to do, you know to help out with my blog.. but I’m not sure if she will give me the video to post. 🙂

She had arrived and it was pretty busy, music was playing and people were eating and drinking all around her. They gave people numbers and then called them when it was ready to get in line to get the book signed, mom recorded a little bit of others getting Chelsea’s autograph and snagged a picture as she waited.

(The video below is a video of a video so the quality is not the best)

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Crappy thing though, security was super serious about taking pictures and videos of Chelsea past a designated point and just like me, my mom gets nervous in certain situations. So while she was next in line she took out her kindle to take a picture but the security guy kept standing in her way, blocking her view and at one point someone behind her gently gave her a shove which put her over the line just when she was going to try and take a good picture… she got yelled at. 🙁

security

Not to mention she couldn’t get the camera on the kindle to work and the more she tried the more nervous she got and didn’t get many photos and video. Plus you couldn’t get an actual picture with her (Which I thought was lame) and mom was told she could only get the one book signed and it had to be her new one. So mom had her 2 others books, tucked them under her armpit and like a sad little girl made her way to the table. When she got there Chelsea was like “Gimme those” and signed all 3 of mom’s book, which she had made out to my mother, my sister, and one for me.

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Now that was super cool of her, props to Chelsea Handler for making my mom’s day.

After that mom sprinted out back to where the getaway vehicles were waiting patiently for Chelsea to make her great escape, there were 3 fancy black cars. Mom was sure she was in one of them but didn’t know which one, she saw her friend the security guard and figured she was close by. Mom started recording to try to catch something but all she got was a few people walking back and forth, the ground, and then the cars pulling away.

(The video below is a video of a video so the quality is not the best)

Mother was super bummed she didn’t get as many pictures or videos like she wanted BUT she did a great job anyways and I told her stalking takes time and practice.

later that night….

I picked mom up and we headed downtown to get a bite to eat, we invited Chelsea via Twitter to see if she wanted to join us but it must have gotten lost since she never showed. Dinner was very nice, parking was super sweet since I had the luxury of getting suits, I guess that also means you park in the close cool important people spots too.

At this point the suite was a surprise for my mom which I had to tell her about when she started to panic telling me I couldn’t park here and that we could get in trouble. When she found out her EYES lite up, she was overjoyed and couldn’t wait to get inside. Upon our arrival into the arena we found out that Chelsea was also signing books there too afterwards, which was awesome but mom already drove super far and paid for a book and got autographs. Mom wanted to buy me a book so I could get to meet her this time around but I declined..after much thought, I had the book signed in my name but what I really wanted was a picture with her and that was off-limits. Mom wanted to try anyways, so she told the man she already bought a book and could she just get a wristband to wait in line. The answer was no, you had to buy a book and this time around the price was $30. Mom was actually going to buy me one and I almost let her but I advised against it. Slowly we made out way to the suite and prepared for an awesome show.

The comedian that opened for Chelsea, Josh Wolf was really funny and actually made a lot of good points regarding balls and real life romantic moments. Below is a picture, not my best plus I didn’t really take too many, I was to caught up in the show.

C.Handler 007

I wish I would have recorded his joke regarding Cleveland and our 24 hour season change, it was spot on.

Moving on…

Miss Chelsea Handler popped right on stage and not shortly after that had the whole place laughing.

Below is a video I took, it’s about 7 minutes long and it is the opening joke in which she mentions Cleveland and the Cavs in it. To respect whoever wishes and not to break any laws, that was the only recording I took, so please enjoy!

I posted this video on YouTube about 2 weeks ago and it’s already at over 1,000 views, 11 thumbs up and 2 down. That doesn’t seem like a lot but for me this is really exciting, thank you to whomever has watched it already.

Now, moving on.

The show was great, I thought she did a fantastic job. You LOVE her or you HATE her, she has a very dry in your face sarcastic, one on one, story telling type of humor that I find priceless. She goes with the flow and tell’s ya how it is and speaks the truth..even about herself.

During her show she would show pictures to the audience, ya know so we could follow along better. I have a few of those but I am not sure if I should post them, I might try to get her permission through Twitter.

Anywho. Below are a few pictures I did take during her performance.

C.Handler 012C.Handler 013C.Handler 020

The young guy in this last picture was an audience member who was apparently drunk and wandering around, probably back and forth to the bathroom. She called him on stage and they had a few minutes of chatter with each other, it was entertaining and then she booted him back to his seat.

When the show ended mother and I made our way to where the book signing was going down, there were people everywhere. It was held outside in the lobby, there was a table and they had ropes so people could get in line right before it. Books and wristbands were still being sold and once again I was torn with the thought of buying one, just so I could meet her. I was trying to think of ways to record her interacting with me or how I could get a picture with her but I was coming up blank. I was also nervous because there was security and cops every 5 feet and then they started getting pushy and in people’s faces when they wouldn’t move back into a certain spot. Mom and I wanted to wait it out so we could catch a glimpse of her but it started getting ridicules. They would not let anyone stand across from the table or to the side and then altogether they made an announcement that if you were not getting an autograph you had to leave the building. I just decided to leave, I wasn’t going to wait around and the line was very long. It was a Thursday work night and I had a feeling that line would be at least a good hour or so long and I wasn’t about to wait. So before we got clubbed by some angry cop we left, got lost on the way home even with a GPS (our Cleveland tradition) but made it out safely and to our beds.

That night I had a dream, this shows you how much I obsess over these things. The dream was about me thinking of different ways that I could have met Chelsea the night before and to my surprise it would have worked, well I’m pretty sure  it would have.

Ok! I would have bought a book, got a wristband and stood in line but I would have made sure I was at the very end. Let people go in front of me without bringing too much attention to myself, thus staying as close to the end as possible. Then when it would be my turn to get the book signed I would ask for a picture and me being like the only one left in line she would have to, it’s the rule.

THAT or somewhat the same idea, I would try to be the last person but if not pretty damn close. I would set my phone to record and when she was done signing I would turn around, get low and do a selfie. She would be bullied into smiling or at least fool her into looking at the phone and since it was set to record I wouldn’t have to wait for it to focus or take the picture. I could then take a still shot of a good frame and viola my picture with Chelsea Handler PLUS I’d have some video too.

I think those would have been 2 good options and I could have even pulled the second one off anywhere in line, I’d just have to be quick and stealthy since I’d probably be thrown out or bashed in the head.

However since none of this happened and my chance is long gone, I can try to use this technique on future unsuspecting victims.

So folks, this is the end to my half a Chelsea Handler experience. I hope you’ve all enjoyed my story and will pass it on to many others in your travels.

Many thanks to Chelsea for coming to Cleveland, see ya the next time you come to town.

Also a super big thank you to all of YOU for reading my blog and helping me make it happen.

 

REMEMBER – Like, Comment, and SHARE! Stalk ya later.

 

 

Jillian Michaels, I like squats.

Jillian Michaels was the second celebrity experience and first successful encounter that my friend Shari and I did together, Chris Mann was the first but his show was cancelled due to scheduling conflicts.

When I found out Jillian Michaels was coming to the Playhouse Square I got super excited and prepared my hunting kit.

I love and watch The Biggest Loser and of course am big fan of hers, why wouldn’t I want to add another notch on my bedpost in her honor. The calendar was marked and the countdown began, I was super excited. It had been a long while since my run in with Robin Williams and I was jonesing for more.

The day had arrived, I got my phone and camera ready, grabbed some permanent markers and headed out the door. My hair was looking good, my adrenaline was pumping, and the smell of stalking was in the air.

On my way down I decided to record a small introduction, see I had decided we should record our outings, post them and eventually become famous.. this was the first video.

I don’t quit remember times but I think I rolled up to Shari’s around 8ish hoping to arrive in Cleveland before 9, we figured her show would not pass 2 hours. Jillian was on tour, Maximize you life in which she was speaking to people across the country and educating them on weight loss and healthy living. Another show we passed on, however it was probably very educational but we decided to lurk in some bushes next to her tour bus instead.

We arrived, parked and found our spot next to a giant tour bus, it had to be hers. There was a woman outside the door playing with a small black child, we walked around the bus and searched for other possible exit strategies.  Within a few minutes I realized that the woman and child were probably Jillian’s partner and daughter, a quick Google search helped confirm that. By this time they had disappeared back inside but our suspicions were right abut the bus and we knew she had to get in that to leave.

We tried getting closer to the door but our favorite one armed security friend made us back up to the sidewalk, he also informed us Jillian would not be coming out these doors and that she would not be signing.

Below is a video I took of him and his security bff talking strategy or kiddie porn or mashed potato receipts..

Just some obstacles we ended up brushing aside anyways.

And so the night went on, the longer we waited the more people started to show up and cramp our style. Which was also a good indication that we were in the right spot.

Some ebayers showed up, 3 dudes with armful’s of pictures for JM to sign and then later sell them on ebay. They were totally cool, tossing around a football and playing catch across a busy Cleveland street as cars were passing.  We just took pictures and made fun of them the remainder of the night.

It was starting to get late and we both had work tomorrow, figuring she was done talking and had hopefully moved on to the question and answer portion of the evening we decided to set a time when to leave. It was about 11:30pm and we were getting ready to bounce when there was movement up ahead. The swarm of people, which suddenly got bigger within the last 30 seconds started to file towards her.

She came out with a bird in a cage…don’t ask me and informed us she was going to put it in the bus and be right back.

She came out, marker ready and began her decent down the line of people. At this point I realized I didn’t really prepare much and had nothing for her to sign, thanks to Shari I got a page from her autograph book. During the commotion I turned on the camera and started filming the whole experience, it’s about 6 minutes long because the “ebayers” were being dramatic and taking up life with their shit. Below is the video, it’s a bit shaky because I didn’t want to appear like I was filming and draw unnecessary attention to myself. Sometimes heads are cut off and at one point when I was getting my picture and autograph it went black since I was the one holding the camera. You can hear me, I get a little giddy around stars and tend to ramble and screech so be prepared to be annoyed. Also keep an eye out for our friend Captain Hook trying to act tough, oh and by the way.. She came out this door and signed. Booya!

During my moment, I asked her to sign my paper… “Keep up those squats” and then I proceeded to tell her how I was in a 30 day squat challenge… which I completed by the way. In all the excitement Jillian handed me her marker and I started to walk away with it but we established this right away and all was calm with the world once again. My turn was up and I headed to the end where I continued to film the last bit of people, at one point she brings up the “ebayers” and how it was weird they had a lot of stuff but that they had her make it out to specific names so she signed just in case. Listen closely you can hear that conversation. Not long after that the.. “Ebayers” came back and wanted a picture, the security guy was like scram you already got 12 things signed..they felt salty and left.

Jillian was SUPER-DE-DOOPER cool, she talked, laughed, signed, and took pictures. I give her an A++ infinity. It was late and I am sure she was tired beyond belief but she was all about her fans and I give her credit.

Jillian Michaels

There we are, hanging out like best buds.

Just a few things to point out. 1) My hoodie string is very long and uneven, it drives me crazy every time I look at this picture… you’re welcome. 2) My hair had fro-ed up something wicked but Jillian’s’ sexy doo covered it. 3) Jillian is gorgeous up close, a real beauty.. and 4) My friend asked me if she was big and muscular, I didn’t get to see her without clothes on or try to pick her up but she looked pretty normal sized to me.

Thank you!

 

Two for One: Tracy Morgan and Ardie Fuqua

My friend Shari (Cheryl, from Cheryl’s Block ) and I both were on a mission to meet Tracy Morgan. We were successful.

We did not see the show, the plan was to get there about 9pm and wait for him to stumble out the stage door. We were not 100% sure which exit he would pop out of so we walked the building a few times but ended up back in our original spot. There was a lot of unnecessary parked cars that night do to a party that was held in a building right next door, this made it hard for us to plan Tracy’s possibly getaway car and escape rout.

We ran into some people that went to the show so we knew he would be out soon but I read somewhere that he was also doing a meet and greet and we figured it was afterwards since he had yet to show.

Meanwhile an older lady joined us in our Tracy Morgan pursuit, adding to the total of 3 white women waiting in a dark ally.

An employee of The Play House Square handed each one of us random flowers and assured us Tracy was still upstairs.

I checked my Twitter feed and saw that Ardie was posting some pictures, I contacted him and he informed us they were on their way down.

Ardie Faqua was Tracy’s opening act and has been on tour with him.

Within 30 seconds Tracy, Ardie, and his crew of security came strolling out of the dark. Tracy was singing the same few words over, and over, and over again to some song I never heard of before all while hanging on the shoulder of one of the security guards. I started waving my hands in the air and doing my best black person sway back and fourth, trying to fit in and look cool. It worked and they all started to wave their hands with me. I wish I had this recorded but unfortunately I didn’t have enough money to pay someone to follow me around and get the good stuff. Plus I didn’t want to get held up filming in case he took off running,  I needed to get my autograph and picture with Tracy and so I stayed focused all while remaining thug.

Tracy was super sweet, he autographed two (2) of my Billboard Music Award books (Which I had received earlier that month when I attended the awards in Vegas, he was the host) and took a picture with me.

Don’t let the shirt fool you, he didn’t smell anything like a big mac but he was sweaty as a pair of balls.

Tracy Morgan

Tracy had moved on to an older lady that wanted another picture of him and I motioned for Ardie to get his ass over and take a picture with me too, he grabbed the camera and took it himself.

Ardie

We were almost done when my friend Shari asked Tracy to give a shout out to her Facebook page, Cherly’s Block and without hesitation he did.

We had a great night, Tracy and Ardie were super nice, patient, and totally cool.

As they were walking away I was able to shoot some footage, I got Tracy singing again and walking to his car.

 

The End!

 

 

Robert Herjavec – What’s a Shark Tank?

May of  this year my husband Patrick Dodge and myself went on a vacation to Vegas, we purchased tickets to the Billboard Music Awards. Here is my story.

We LOVE Vegas and try to get there once a year but it was about 3 years since the last time we went, which was when we got married back in August 2009. When I heard the Music Awards were in town during our stay I went into action and devised a plan to meet as many celebrities as I possible could. I failed miserably. We ended up getting tickets to the show instead which was worth it but it kept me away from doing any real before or after stalking.

The show ended and we found ourselves stuck in a major human traffic jam, I had to get outside but there was no way. Finally we slipped through a side exit door that led us right down to the parking garage where all the celebrities had previously arrived for the red carpet. There were some stranglers and very little security at the door, all the major stars had hightailed it out of there and I was left in defeat. I stood there watching, waiting to see if anyone would pop out but no luck. Not until some lady pointed out a flashy, good looking dude in a leather coat. Being the celebrity whore that I am I proceeded to bud into her conversation and find out who this man was. She seemed annoyed with me and my black stare but proceeded to answer my questions anyways. She couldn’t remember his name but said he was on Shark Tank and that he is very wealthy. I had no idea what the hell Shark Tank was but I was not going to let this man leave without getting a picture with me. I watched him walk back and fourth for awhile, most of the time on his phone and looking around. He would stop and talk to a pretty lady or a nice looking black man ( Which I think turned out to be Daymond John, also from Shark Tank but by the time I thought him to be someone he was gone..DAMN) and then head back inside, he did this a few times. During all this some homeless man wanted to buy my program from me for like $3.00, I told him to scram or give me $50… Continuing on. Pat had somehow slipped by and was now on the other side of the wall, smiling and waving at me. I thought what I little shit, so I did the same. I took a deep breath, approached the man and asked to get a picture with him. He agreed very nicely, but then moved to quick before the camera was finished flashing 12 times and the picture came out blurry. We ended up taking 2 more until a limo driver came over and took it for us.

Before I made any dramatic Facebook posts I Googled Shark Tank and made sure this man was a somebody, the photos matched up… I was good to go.

Robert Herjavec was the mysterious man in the leather coat that took 3 pictures with me, he was super nice. I would have pushed me down after the first failed attempt but he didn’t.

 

Take 1                                                     Take 2

Phone pictures 2013 1906 Phone pictures 2013 1907  SharkTankTake 3

 

 

Even though I didn’t get to meet a giant flock of stars like I wanted to, the night wasn’t a total bust after all.

 

Your locks / My face – Getting personal with Whoopi Goldberg

“Oh Whoopi Goldberg, you weren’t getting past me without a picture.”  I said to myself, revealing a devilish grin.

It was about 7:30pm on the night of June 29th, 2001. My Mom had dropped me off at the entrance of Playhouse Square in Cleveland, I quickly made my way inside and headed to the Ohio Theater.

Oddly enough my parents let me go alone, my first comedy show and in downtown Cleveland. Nevertheless I was excited and couldn’t wait to see where my seats were, so I proceeded to the nearest old lady usher.

“Oh wow” She said “Follow me” and.. did… I… ever. I walked behind her all the way down to the front row and off to the left, for $65.00 I made it to Row A seat 1, Thanks Dad!

Whoopi came out shortly after and made an announcement, sitting in the front row middle was Muhammad Ali. He went right up to the stage and they shared a hug, it was a nice surprise.

Whoopi

Now back to Whoopi.

From what I could remember her show was great, half her jokes went over my head. I think I just laughed out of nervousness and tried to blend in, I mean I WAS a sheltered 17 year old with a boy haircut and the complexion of Powder. :-/

When the show ended I creeped around back and found her tour bus along with a nice handful of eager wannabes.

She pretty much told everyone to chill and quickly made her way through the crowd, I had a decision to make.

Do I get an autograph or do I go for the more personal touch and get a BFF photo together.

I figured a photograph would be awesome as balls but her bodyguards were being dicks so I snuck around to the door of her bus. I figured she would have to get through my dead body first if she wanted to leave.

Whoopi approached me and at that moment I stepped in front of the door and asked for a picture. She seemed annoyed, but figured she didn’t want to upset her only white fan and agreed.

However, do you remember me saying how her bodyguards were being dicks? Yeah. No one would take the picture of us, so like a gem Whoppi took the camera out of my hand, shoved our heads together and took the picture herself.

I thanked her and she was gone.

I was in heaven and if you don’t know what heaven is then you’ve never had Whoopi Goldberg’s dreadlocks cascade down your face.

We shared a moment I will never forget.