Kevin Pollak

I know, right?! Kevin Pollak sounds familiar, you know the name and can see his face but you can’t name a damn movie he was in. Well, that was me and I’m not ashamed to admit it… well a little.

Kevin has been in over 70 movies and has a book coming out called “How I Slept My Way To The Middle” –  So he’s been around and is a pretty big deal.

We added him to the calendar as soon as we saw him coming to Cleveland but plans sort of fell through last minuet and I was scrambling to find a replacement partner for my adventure.

Kevin was on Twitter Thursday night giving away free tickets to his show, I was somewhat confident I would get them.  I was wrong, he did one more contest and I also was not a winner. I was hoping to win the tickets and then life would be a lot easier, I was tweeting him and randomly adding him to tweets hoping to hear something…  but nothing.

It was literally the day of when I finally made a decision and super glad I did.

Initially Shari and I were just going to do a stalk by but since she was unable to hang I had to come up with other means, this meant some careful planning.

Kevin was in town starting Thursday and leaving Saturday night and originally (like I stated before, plans fell through) so Pat was going to go with me that night but we ended up going to dinner with a friend, no big deal since I had 2 other nights to make this happen. We decided on Saturday since it would be easier but Frank Caliendo also had a show Sunday night and he was part of the plan as well. So. I had to make a decision between the 2, or find a way to snag both in a 24 hour period.

2 tickets for both shows would have costed about $125.00 and I didn’t know if it was worth spending THAT much just to get some pictures/autographs for the blog. Caliendo was sold out and he had added another show which sold out pretty quickly, I called up & there were a few left. figured I would get tickets to Frank’s show and just do a sneak attack on Kevin, but I had only figured this out after some thinking and when I called back the show was COMPLETELY sold out. On to plan B, or C.. not really sure what plan we are on at this point but I just sat there pondering my next move. Finally I broke down and bought two tickets to see Kevin and I would bribe someone the next day to grab Caliendo with me.

Tickets were $25 a piece, so we spent $50 which was no biggie and I saved some money by paying for them over the phone, no pesky online fees.

It was a 9:30 show, and for me that’s like super late. I was pretty much napping on the ride down there but like a big girl I managed to stay awake.

Our new thing is to park at the Horseshoe Casino and walk over, then we hit the casino afterwards spend a ton of money and get free parking… see how that works?

When we arrived an usher had escorted us to our seats, we were at like a bar type table situation all the way against the back wall. Good thing the place isn’t that big and we sat up high with a straight view of the mic stand.

When we were all settled in I ordered myself a vodka and red bull and then Pat and I shared some mott sticks, we devoured that within 6 minutes and then waited for the main act.

It was about 10:00pm when Kevin popped out and of course I had to record his first few minutes on stage because that’s when they usually mention Cleveland, and he did. I kept it recording because it was very entertaining, check out the video below.

 

(I’m super mad right now, I had this all typed up and the blog pretty much finished yesterday but the page didn’t save and now I have to remember all the funny and witty things I said)

I had no idea he did impersonations, so you can imagine my surprise and excitement when he started to do Jack Nicholson. Probably one of the best I’ve seen, right down to his facial expressions to the way Jack presents himself and his body language. (For those of you who don’t know, I am in LUST with Jack Nicholson, it took everything I had not to rush the stage and wrap my legs around Kevin’s face.) So of course I had to start recording, I couldn’t let this gem pass me by. At one point the camera stopped but I quickly got it back on and was able to finish getting his bit about Jack on the set of  A Few Good Men.

Remember there are absolutely NO recording devises allowed so I had to be sneaky about it, the beginning is a little shaky and the sound bobs in and out. I had to hide the fact that I had a camera but I think I did a pretty good job.

I didn’t find Kevin hilarious nor did I fall out of my seat onto the floor vomiting with laughter  but he was very entertaining. I had a smile on my face the whole time and was very impressed, I loved his sense of humor and the delivery of his lines. Extremely glad I broke down and bought the tickets, it was an enjoyable night for sure.

When he finished up, Pat and I made our way to the small lobby and waited for Mr.Pollak. I had talked to a guy on Twitter who went to the show and said that Frank has a guy take the pictures and then sends a mass email out to everyone. This way it would cut down on the chaos and keep things moving, so I was certain to get my picture. A few minutes went by and I overheard someone asking if he was coming out, the response was probably not because he had an early flight. I looked at Pat and pretty much said I better get his picture and told him to stand guard as I went down the hall to wait by the door. As I turned the corner and looked up Kevin was just about to pass me, so I spoke.

Hi Kevin”

“Hello”

“How are you?”

“Good thank you.” he said as we continued to walk side by side.

“Are you doing the picture thing or taking off?”

“Taking off”

“Is it cool if I get a quick picture?”

“Sure” we stopped in the hallway, good thing I was camera ready.. always be camera ready.

“I suck at taking selfies I said holding the camera, we smiled, the flash went off as we were captured in a moment to cherish forever. I thanked him and then we walked together, side by side for another few moments until he slid through the few people who remained and disappeared.

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I confirmed with Pat that the mission was a success even though I didn’t get the autograph I got the picture and that to me that was better, I decided  it was now safe to leave, upon leaving one of the staff, possible a manage type position said to me. “You finally got your guy!” and smiled. I responded to him all giddy and then proceeded to exit up the steps and out of the building. That guy would remember me 24 hours later as I showed up to meet Frank Caliendo with my mom but you’ll have to read THAT blog to get the full story.

Pat and I walked back to the casino and played enough to where we each got free parking, he said we came out even or ahead but I didn’t feel to good about it. Our night ended around 2am and we headed home and crawled right into bed. We had a beach day planned for the morning and then of course I still intended on heading back to Cleveland to capture Frank. Stay tuned for the next blog where I talk about meeting Mr.Caliendo.

 

Loads of thanks to Hilarities Comedy Club and to Frank Pollak, you guys made my night.

Also, I can’t go without thanking my fans and followers. Hope you enjoyed my story!

 

Stalk ON!

 

 

 

 

Double dose of Robin Williams

I just love me some Robin Williams, I find him oddly sexy and very funny. So this would come as no surprise to you that when he came to Cleveland I went to his show and seduced him afterwards… with a little help from my friends duct tape and chloroform.

My story begins many, many years ago, I was a senior in highschool. I heard he was coming to the Playhouse with his “Live on Broadway” tour and I was going to go no matter what, and so I started to shop for tickets and put my money aside.

I was working at the theatre and I had mentioned this to a few of my friends who were also excited and wanted us to all go as a group. It took me awhile to agree because originally I was going to get the best seats possible but I decided going as a group would be fun and I said I would go.

WELL… as I waited to hear back from everyone the time was quickly slipping by, I also left this in the hands of someone else to get things together and when I checked into it the tickets were sold out. I freaked. I should have just gotten tickets by myself and everything would have been ok. I was 18, working 2 jobs had didn’t have a serious list of real bills yet and lived with the parents so I had some $$ to spare. Internet wasn’t super popular or was, I don’t remember but I didn’t have the resources to search for tickets. Stubhub or Craigslist had yet to be invented yet, so I cried to my mom who put me in touch with her broker. I still never found out why she had a broker but it was cool, we drove down to his place and made a deal.

I don’t remember what all he had or if he only had the 2 tickets but he was selling them as a pair for $300, I think that’s what it was even though face value was $95.00 and I didn’t care because I was seeing this show no mater what.

I called my friend Brett and asked if he wanted to go with me, he didn’t have the money but I informed him it was on me. Either he was going or I was going by myself. So it was a date.

April 6th 2002 rolled around and from the little I remember, I think we were late. I recall parking and running like crazy folk down the dark streets of Cleveland. We had pretty good seats I believe, we were right on the isle from what I can remember. Ticket reads ORCH side X 201 / ORCH4, not really sure what that means.

Robin’s act was hilarious, I mean tears rolling down my face. I got the CD and I listen to it all the time, pretty much know it by heart.  It was my 2nd big comedy show since Whoopi Goldberg the year before, so I was already living the dream.

At some point during the show I screamed “I love you Robin!” and he said something back but I can’t remember what that was, I’m sure if you listened to the live Cleveland tape (if there is one) you could hear Robin and I share a moment.

Anyways… after the show we went out to the side of the building where there was a small crowd waiting. Since I had met Whoopi the same way I was pretty sure we would get to see Robin as well, I just didn’t know how I would react. When he came out, I think instantly I started crying, I’m talking like a baby. I was afraid to approach him, I even wrote a letter for him (which I don’t have a copy of and I’m glad I don’t because I am sure it was horrific). I handed it to security and asked for him to give it to Robin, he agreed but then gave back to me saying “You give it to him yourself” I was causing a scene. After I continued to cry, some lady pushed me up towards Robin, I could hear people saying “Awe” and “how cute” and shyly I made my way to him. He looked at me and smiled, I reached up and touched his face.. I know, I know I’m surprised I wasn’t tazed or something but everyone including himself let me do it (His face had that 5 o’clock shadow feel, Mmmm). If we said anything to each other.. I don’t remember, did I give him a hug? I don’t know. I handed him the letter, he signed my book, we took the picture and I made my way back to my friend.

I got a picture of my friend and Robin and then a few other random ones, that’s about all I remember of the night.

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If you look closely, you can see how red my face was from crying AND if you look just a smidge closer you could see that Robin’s eyes are tearing up too, at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself for years. I think he was genuinely touched, or maybe very frightened.

OK now fast forward to 2009, Robin was back on the road with his Weapons of Self Destruction tour and I wanted to go. However I was getting married that year in Vegas followed by a big party 2 weeks later back at home so like a good girl I opted out to save the money and focus on the important things in life.

We ended up renting it and liked it a lot,  the show started slow and was all political which is not interesting to me at all but once he got past that we were rolling in our seats.

OK, now skip forward to September 24th, 2011 when Robin comes back for a third time but this is a special Cleveland addition. On March 13th 2011 Mr.Williams underwent heart surgery at the Cleveland Clinic and as a thank you he put on a benefit, a Heart to Heart with special guest David Steinberg. This was not your typical standup comedy show, him and David sat on two chairs opposite each other and just talked. It was very interesting but not as entertaining as I would have liked, however it was Robin and I could watch him all day. I got a few recordings, one in particular of him doing an impression of Jack Nicholson (The love of my fantasy life) but I will have to look for it. I had dragged my husband along and warned him that I was planning on waiting for Robin to come out, he wasn’t the happiest of people but he knew how much it meant to me and thus went a long with it.

When the show was over we made our way out back and waited for Robin, good thing it was a nice evening because Robin had a small gathering/dinner and popped out almost 2 hours later. At one point my husband left and got something to eat, came back and ate in the car.

David Steinberg came out shortly after and before Robin, he pretty much just walked right by everyone. He did stop to let whomever take “one picture” and then darted away and into his car.

Finally Robin came out and people got excited, it wasn’t a huge crowed and actually most of them were the guys that sell their shit on eBay and of course a few stragglers. My husband slowly staggers to where the crowd had gathered and took a few random pictures. I slipped back and waited for my turn, one kid asked if he took my picture if I could use my camera to take his picture and email it to him. I agreed since at this point Pat was no where in sight. When it was finally my turn, I handed Robin my program from the show and I also had our first picture together blown up in which I wanted him to sign that too.

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See how patiently I’m waiting off to the right there?                        Look at those vultures!                                                Action shot – that’s the back of my head.

Ok, so we are going to pause for a moment and backtrack. I had this planned for weeks and I might have had the day off.  I printed out the picture of the two of us from 2002 and wanted to get a silver marker for him to sign it since the picture was pretty dark. My laziness kicked in and I didn’t look for a marker or go out and buy one, instead I waited for my husband to get home. We ended up all over the place looking for a damn silver marker and Mr. Dodge was not very happy anymore, finally we found some but it was like a pack of 6 and a waste of money (We still have those markers and they are used on occasion).

Back to present time –  So I walk up to Robin and he signs my program and then I hand him the picture and he snags it up and starts to sign it.. OH I forgot to mention, he has his own marker and it was blue. I tried to stop him, and he did, looked at me and asked what? But I panicked and was like never mind, he said something and once again I can’t remember what it was so he just finished what he was doing and then prepared to get his picture taken.

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You can barely see it but it like stretches to my teeth, I wish I would have had him sign it “To Lauren” but you know me, nervous Nelly. You see why I wanted a silver marker now?

At this point Pat had showed up and was taking some pictures and that kid was also taking the picture, so this is what happened. While I was looking at Pat, Robin was looking at the kid so both pictures that were taken neither of us had looked at the same camera.

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My anxiety set in and I needed to get a better picture, so as he was finishing up and getting ready to walk away I jumped back in and asked for another picture. I made up a story that it was blurry, Robin stopped looked at me and said “This one will probably be blurry too” and then we took a selfie.

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This is like my favorite picture of all time!!

I should have licked his face or shoved my tongue down his throat but my husband was close by AND he was my ride home so I had to play it cool.

I won’t comment on how wasted Robin looked and he acted differently than the last time I met him and by different I mean more meek and quiet but who am I to judge? He, like before took his time with everyone and for someone with as much star status as himself I think was very awesome especially since he didn’t have to.

 

Would I go see Robin again and try to snag him out back? Ahh Yeah. He is like my #2, I love everything about him…even all the hair on his body.

This was a great experience and I’m glad I got to share it with all of you.

 

Thank you, means a lot to me for any support that is shown towards my blog and my interests.

Remember –  Read, Enjoy, Like, Comment, and Share!!

 

Stalk ya later.

Two for One: Tracy Morgan and Ardie Fuqua

My friend Shari (Cheryl, from Cheryl’s Block ) and I both were on a mission to meet Tracy Morgan. We were successful.

We did not see the show, the plan was to get there about 9pm and wait for him to stumble out the stage door. We were not 100% sure which exit he would pop out of so we walked the building a few times but ended up back in our original spot. There was a lot of unnecessary parked cars that night do to a party that was held in a building right next door, this made it hard for us to plan Tracy’s possibly getaway car and escape rout.

We ran into some people that went to the show so we knew he would be out soon but I read somewhere that he was also doing a meet and greet and we figured it was afterwards since he had yet to show.

Meanwhile an older lady joined us in our Tracy Morgan pursuit, adding to the total of 3 white women waiting in a dark ally.

An employee of The Play House Square handed each one of us random flowers and assured us Tracy was still upstairs.

I checked my Twitter feed and saw that Ardie was posting some pictures, I contacted him and he informed us they were on their way down.

Ardie Faqua was Tracy’s opening act and has been on tour with him.

Within 30 seconds Tracy, Ardie, and his crew of security came strolling out of the dark. Tracy was singing the same few words over, and over, and over again to some song I never heard of before all while hanging on the shoulder of one of the security guards. I started waving my hands in the air and doing my best black person sway back and fourth, trying to fit in and look cool. It worked and they all started to wave their hands with me. I wish I had this recorded but unfortunately I didn’t have enough money to pay someone to follow me around and get the good stuff. Plus I didn’t want to get held up filming in case he took off running,  I needed to get my autograph and picture with Tracy and so I stayed focused all while remaining thug.

Tracy was super sweet, he autographed two (2) of my Billboard Music Award books (Which I had received earlier that month when I attended the awards in Vegas, he was the host) and took a picture with me.

Don’t let the shirt fool you, he didn’t smell anything like a big mac but he was sweaty as a pair of balls.

Tracy Morgan

Tracy had moved on to an older lady that wanted another picture of him and I motioned for Ardie to get his ass over and take a picture with me too, he grabbed the camera and took it himself.

Ardie

We were almost done when my friend Shari asked Tracy to give a shout out to her Facebook page, Cherly’s Block and without hesitation he did.

We had a great night, Tracy and Ardie were super nice, patient, and totally cool.

As they were walking away I was able to shoot some footage, I got Tracy singing again and walking to his car.

 

The End!

 

 

Your locks / My face – Getting personal with Whoopi Goldberg

“Oh Whoopi Goldberg, you weren’t getting past me without a picture.”  I said to myself, revealing a devilish grin.

It was about 7:30pm on the night of June 29th, 2001. My Mom had dropped me off at the entrance of Playhouse Square in Cleveland, I quickly made my way inside and headed to the Ohio Theater.

Oddly enough my parents let me go alone, my first comedy show and in downtown Cleveland. Nevertheless I was excited and couldn’t wait to see where my seats were, so I proceeded to the nearest old lady usher.

“Oh wow” She said “Follow me” and.. did… I… ever. I walked behind her all the way down to the front row and off to the left, for $65.00 I made it to Row A seat 1, Thanks Dad!

Whoopi came out shortly after and made an announcement, sitting in the front row middle was Muhammad Ali. He went right up to the stage and they shared a hug, it was a nice surprise.

Whoopi

Now back to Whoopi.

From what I could remember her show was great, half her jokes went over my head. I think I just laughed out of nervousness and tried to blend in, I mean I WAS a sheltered 17 year old with a boy haircut and the complexion of Powder. :-/

When the show ended I creeped around back and found her tour bus along with a nice handful of eager wannabes.

She pretty much told everyone to chill and quickly made her way through the crowd, I had a decision to make.

Do I get an autograph or do I go for the more personal touch and get a BFF photo together.

I figured a photograph would be awesome as balls but her bodyguards were being dicks so I snuck around to the door of her bus. I figured she would have to get through my dead body first if she wanted to leave.

Whoopi approached me and at that moment I stepped in front of the door and asked for a picture. She seemed annoyed, but figured she didn’t want to upset her only white fan and agreed.

However, do you remember me saying how her bodyguards were being dicks? Yeah. No one would take the picture of us, so like a gem Whoppi took the camera out of my hand, shoved our heads together and took the picture herself.

I thanked her and she was gone.

I was in heaven and if you don’t know what heaven is then you’ve never had Whoopi Goldberg’s dreadlocks cascade down your face.

We shared a moment I will never forget.