Chelsea Handler

So today’s entry will be about my Mothers somewhat encounter with the funny Chelsea Handler on March 6th, 2014.

About 2  years ago for my mom’s birthday my sister and I got her tickets to see Miss. Handler at the Quicken Loans Area. We had a good time, I was glad we went. I found out she was coming back again and thus we decided to get Mom tickets and make a night out of it once more. However my sister couldn’t get off of work and so Mom and I went without her but of course she was greatly missed.   😉

So the week of the show Mom found out that Chelsea was having a book signing at The Blue Rock Cafe in Hudson, Ohio and she planned on going. It was from 2-4 which was a good hour away from where I worked so I was unable to go, there was NO way I would make it in time. I figured I could try to scoop her up before the show and make up for not meeting her earlier in the day.

I had done some research and found out you had to almost pre-order her new book “Uganda Be Kidding Me” to secure yourself an official spot and actually be able to get the book signed by her. I had given Mom all the proper information and she made the call, paid $27.00 over the phone and was locked in.

Mom drove down there, she actually made a video of herself talking and explaining to our audience where she was going and what she was about to do, you know to help out with my blog.. but I’m not sure if she will give me the video to post. 🙂

She had arrived and it was pretty busy, music was playing and people were eating and drinking all around her. They gave people numbers and then called them when it was ready to get in line to get the book signed, mom recorded a little bit of others getting Chelsea’s autograph and snagged a picture as she waited.

(The video below is a video of a video so the quality is not the best)

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Crappy thing though, security was super serious about taking pictures and videos of Chelsea past a designated point and just like me, my mom gets nervous in certain situations. So while she was next in line she took out her kindle to take a picture but the security guy kept standing in her way, blocking her view and at one point someone behind her gently gave her a shove which put her over the line just when she was going to try and take a good picture… she got yelled at. 🙁

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Not to mention she couldn’t get the camera on the kindle to work and the more she tried the more nervous she got and didn’t get many photos and video. Plus you couldn’t get an actual picture with her (Which I thought was lame) and mom was told she could only get the one book signed and it had to be her new one. So mom had her 2 others books, tucked them under her armpit and like a sad little girl made her way to the table. When she got there Chelsea was like “Gimme those” and signed all 3 of mom’s book, which she had made out to my mother, my sister, and one for me.

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Now that was super cool of her, props to Chelsea Handler for making my mom’s day.

After that mom sprinted out back to where the getaway vehicles were waiting patiently for Chelsea to make her great escape, there were 3 fancy black cars. Mom was sure she was in one of them but didn’t know which one, she saw her friend the security guard and figured she was close by. Mom started recording to try to catch something but all she got was a few people walking back and forth, the ground, and then the cars pulling away.

(The video below is a video of a video so the quality is not the best)

Mother was super bummed she didn’t get as many pictures or videos like she wanted BUT she did a great job anyways and I told her stalking takes time and practice.

later that night….

I picked mom up and we headed downtown to get a bite to eat, we invited Chelsea via Twitter to see if she wanted to join us but it must have gotten lost since she never showed. Dinner was very nice, parking was super sweet since I had the luxury of getting suits, I guess that also means you park in the close cool important people spots too.

At this point the suite was a surprise for my mom which I had to tell her about when she started to panic telling me I couldn’t park here and that we could get in trouble. When she found out her EYES lite up, she was overjoyed and couldn’t wait to get inside. Upon our arrival into the arena we found out that Chelsea was also signing books there too afterwards, which was awesome but mom already drove super far and paid for a book and got autographs. Mom wanted to buy me a book so I could get to meet her this time around but I declined..after much thought, I had the book signed in my name but what I really wanted was a picture with her and that was off-limits. Mom wanted to try anyways, so she told the man she already bought a book and could she just get a wristband to wait in line. The answer was no, you had to buy a book and this time around the price was $30. Mom was actually going to buy me one and I almost let her but I advised against it. Slowly we made out way to the suite and prepared for an awesome show.

The comedian that opened for Chelsea, Josh Wolf was really funny and actually made a lot of good points regarding balls and real life romantic moments. Below is a picture, not my best plus I didn’t really take too many, I was to caught up in the show.

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I wish I would have recorded his joke regarding Cleveland and our 24 hour season change, it was spot on.

Moving on…

Miss Chelsea Handler popped right on stage and not shortly after that had the whole place laughing.

Below is a video I took, it’s about 7 minutes long and it is the opening joke in which she mentions Cleveland and the Cavs in it. To respect whoever wishes and not to break any laws, that was the only recording I took, so please enjoy!

I posted this video on YouTube about 2 weeks ago and it’s already at over 1,000 views, 11 thumbs up and 2 down. That doesn’t seem like a lot but for me this is really exciting, thank you to whomever has watched it already.

Now, moving on.

The show was great, I thought she did a fantastic job. You LOVE her or you HATE her, she has a very dry in your face sarcastic, one on one, story telling type of humor that I find priceless. She goes with the flow and tell’s ya how it is and speaks the truth..even about herself.

During her show she would show pictures to the audience, ya know so we could follow along better. I have a few of those but I am not sure if I should post them, I might try to get her permission through Twitter.

Anywho. Below are a few pictures I did take during her performance.

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The young guy in this last picture was an audience member who was apparently drunk and wandering around, probably back and forth to the bathroom. She called him on stage and they had a few minutes of chatter with each other, it was entertaining and then she booted him back to his seat.

When the show ended mother and I made our way to where the book signing was going down, there were people everywhere. It was held outside in the lobby, there was a table and they had ropes so people could get in line right before it. Books and wristbands were still being sold and once again I was torn with the thought of buying one, just so I could meet her. I was trying to think of ways to record her interacting with me or how I could get a picture with her but I was coming up blank. I was also nervous because there was security and cops every 5 feet and then they started getting pushy and in people’s faces when they wouldn’t move back into a certain spot. Mom and I wanted to wait it out so we could catch a glimpse of her but it started getting ridicules. They would not let anyone stand across from the table or to the side and then altogether they made an announcement that if you were not getting an autograph you had to leave the building. I just decided to leave, I wasn’t going to wait around and the line was very long. It was a Thursday work night and I had a feeling that line would be at least a good hour or so long and I wasn’t about to wait. So before we got clubbed by some angry cop we left, got lost on the way home even with a GPS (our Cleveland tradition) but made it out safely and to our beds.

That night I had a dream, this shows you how much I obsess over these things. The dream was about me thinking of different ways that I could have met Chelsea the night before and to my surprise it would have worked, well I’m pretty sure  it would have.

Ok! I would have bought a book, got a wristband and stood in line but I would have made sure I was at the very end. Let people go in front of me without bringing too much attention to myself, thus staying as close to the end as possible. Then when it would be my turn to get the book signed I would ask for a picture and me being like the only one left in line she would have to, it’s the rule.

THAT or somewhat the same idea, I would try to be the last person but if not pretty damn close. I would set my phone to record and when she was done signing I would turn around, get low and do a selfie. She would be bullied into smiling or at least fool her into looking at the phone and since it was set to record I wouldn’t have to wait for it to focus or take the picture. I could then take a still shot of a good frame and viola my picture with Chelsea Handler PLUS I’d have some video too.

I think those would have been 2 good options and I could have even pulled the second one off anywhere in line, I’d just have to be quick and stealthy since I’d probably be thrown out or bashed in the head.

However since none of this happened and my chance is long gone, I can try to use this technique on future unsuspecting victims.

So folks, this is the end to my half a Chelsea Handler experience. I hope you’ve all enjoyed my story and will pass it on to many others in your travels.

Many thanks to Chelsea for coming to Cleveland, see ya the next time you come to town.

Also a super big thank you to all of YOU for reading my blog and helping me make it happen.

 

REMEMBER – Like, Comment, and SHARE! Stalk ya later.

 

 

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